


Yogomania

by TheNewCorleone



Series: YWE, Yogscast Wrestling Entertainment. [1]
Category: The Yogscast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Wrestling, Comfort, F/M, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-03-26 05:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3838477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNewCorleone/pseuds/TheNewCorleone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yogscast Wrestling AU</p>
<p>1.Kim and her outfit.<br/>2.Hat Films' new angle<br/>3.A recovered roster<br/>4.The Main Event</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First time for everything.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim is getting ready and doesn't like her gear.

The sounds of the crowd bled through into the dressing room door as Kim tried to calm herself down. This was her first time in a big match like this, and it was just her luck that it was at the wrestling event of the year, Yogomania. She tried to breathe slower but only seemed to quicken her heart rate. The sound of steel ladders smashing through the door as Sips battled Mark 'Turps' Turpin for the money in the bank contract briefcase didn't help either.

Trying to distract herself, she stood up to look in the mirror to check her outfit. Starting at the top, her freshly dyed red hair was perfectly cut by her stylist. Then, moving down was her tight black t-shirt, emblazoned with Nano, her current persona. She squirmed a little where she stood as the shirt she had been given had been too small to start with, and then tailored to hug her bust even more. The effect it produced was borderline obscene, and the more she looked, the more she regretted allowing the corporation to pick her persona and outfit for her. To make matters worse, the Sports-bra she had been given was an EliteCore sport pro, with triple lift and Xtra (TM) size padding (guaranteed to add up to 2 cup sizes!). If she looked any more top heavy, people, including herself would be questioning how her spine could support such a voluptuous frame. 

She frowned for a second and thought how ironic it was that if she had opted for the skimpier, more bikini type top that the corporation had originally given her, she would have ended up looking less like an over-inflated sex doll. Readjusting her shirt she turned around and looked over her shoulder, inspecting what she looked like from behind. The denim shorts she was wearing were little more than just scraps of fabric strategically placed to protect her modesty. Much like the shirt, these too had been specifically tailored to sit higher on her waist, revealing as much thigh as possible; and when she was bent over, or in a particularly gymnastic hold, they allowed the audience to see just a little more than she would have liked. 

Finally, she turned to sideways to look at herself in profile. Trying to ignore her enhanced chest she studied her most modest piece of clothing. Her boots were knee-high black wrestling boots with white stitching on the front, stretching from the top of the boot all the way to just before the toe. Just as she was about to stop checking her appearance, a familiar face appeared poking its head around the door. "Hey Kim, get yourself ready, your match starts in fifteen minutes. And you look great by the way, so if I don't see you again before the match, good luck; you'll do great." And as quick as he was there, he was gone . 

She smiled, for such a huge and intimidating man, with his long blonde hair and scruffy beard, he always knew just what to say. Duncan "the Professor" Jones, three time YWE heavyweight champion, had trained her since the corporation had scouted her at a young age. She turned to the mirror once more and pulled back her shoulders triumphantly, putting a lot of strain on her tortured shirt and knew that even if she looked like a slut and had no fans, she still had her mentor to look after her. With that thought in mind, she quickly marched herself out of the room and towards her first-ever Yogomania match.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I found this weird YouTube channel (Lloydimus, I think) who used a WWE game to simulate Yogscast member wrestling matches. So I thought, I wonder if I could write something about it, and now here we are. 
> 
> The Mobscast story is coming, but it has gotten to 1000 words-ish and I've decided to scrap it and rewrite it about 3 times now.
> 
> Thanks for reading
> 
> \- TheNewCorleone


	2. Revolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little different this time. A bit of in-ring action from the rookies known as Hat Films.

Three men stood in the ring. Nothing too unusual for a promo like this. Then they decided to start talking. "Ladies and gentlemen," announced the tallest of the three, "we are here today to make a very important announcement. We are here to declare war on the YWE!" The crowd, clearly split by this statement, rapidly worked itself into a frenzy. The smallest of the team then raised his microphone to his mouth." The members of the Goon Squad have been oppressing any competitors that might make their chosen few look inferior. For example, we have been denied time and time again for chances at main-show events; and the Goon Squad roll out massive mismatches to make their favourites look good!"

The crowd was now divided under the bright lights; those who appreciated the older wrestlers and their craft, and the lovers of anarchy, people out to see a good fight. Finally, the second tallest, dark haired man began to speak over the noise of the crowd. "No more shall we put up with this. Hat films will take apart their authority, piece by piece; match by match and we will not stop until-" The dark haired man was quickly silenced by the ominous tones booming through the speakers around the arena. 

This was no average music though, this was the entrance theme for the most feared stable in not just the YWE, but the entire wrestling universe. The Goone Squad themselves were coming to meet the the challenge laid down by the younger competitors. Collectively, the main members of this villainous stable had amassed 13 world championship belts, 12 heavyweight championship belts, 7 tag team championship belts and had held the mistral city championship almost exclusively since it's inception. Three men revealed themselves from behind the curtain at the north end of the arena. Leading the group, with the Mistral city championship belt secured firmly around his waist, was Lewis "Xephos" Brindley; a true authority figure who had led the YWE since it's inception. Most of the titles that the Goone Squad could boast were earned by the blood sweat and tears of this utter Titan of a man. To his left was his partner in crime Simon "Honedew" Lane. His nickname may sound soft but behind his innocent bearded face was a no-nonsense brawler, who was never below taking his trusty spade into the ring to level the competition. Flanking the right side of the leader was "Livid" Duncan Jones; he was a calculated wrestler with a plethora of moves in his arsenal, cumulating with his masterpiece signature move, the DKO. His long lab coat gave the appearance that his whole body was as wide as his shoulders, making him all the more menacing.

The three older men climbed into the ring with ease and practice; and their extravagant costumes made the their opposition look thoroughly underdressed in their colour coordinated trunks, boots and gloves. "Look here," Xephos growled into his microphone, cutting through the mix of cheers and boos from the fans. "You boys do know where you are boys don't you?" He continued patronisingly "This is Yogomania!" With any mention of the event the crowd went wild. "This is the biggest wrestling event in all of the world, and you think that trying to derail the Goone Squad at the show they founded is a good idea? You must be a fool." The look on Smith's face was priceless. However, before the mighty Xephos could finish his monologue, he was interrupted by his ginger companion. "Look," he said, "We all know how this is going to end here today, so let's cut the crap and get to the fun bit."

Dropping his microphone, Simon reached out and used his near unstoppable strength to grab a very unprepared Chris "Trottimus" Trott by the waist. Wasting no time the heavier man spun his opponent 180 degrees and fell onto his behind, crushing poor Trott's head into the matt with his signature Jaffa piledriver. Next to react was the veteran Xephos. With practiced ease he planted a boot right into the gut of the leader of Hat Films, causing him to double over. Quickly he pulled him into a brutal double underhook facebuster that left Smith close to unconscious. Seeing this signature move, know as the "bumblebee" always got the crowd riled up; ever since it's inception by Lewis' grandfather who's ring name was the Bee. The final two to react were Ross and Duncan. The younger competitor managed to get in a quick jab before Duncan could react, and quickly whipped "Livid" Jones into the far side ropes causing him to bounce back towards the dark-haired man. Unfortunately, a little momentum was all the lab-coated wrestler needed. Just as the two opponents were about to connect Jones managed to raise his arms and pull the final member of the trio into a falling neckbreaker simply dubbed the DKO. The final sickening thud echoed around the arena as the last of the moves reached completion. As Simon helped up Duncan, the leader of the Goone Squad gave his final words, "Let this be a lesson to all who oppose the Goone Squad. You think you're the biggest and the baddest? WE WILL PROVE YOU WRONG! BECAUSE WE ARE. THE. BEST. AND WE AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE!" 

The crowd erupted into a cacophony of boos and cheers as their favourite heels left the stage and the lights dimmed for an intermission. There truly never was a better way to send a message, than not the biggest stage in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was hoping to make this into a Pulp fiction-esque series of stories around the event, both onstage and off, so this is that attempt at that. Also, I just saw Age of Ultron, so you may (and this is unlikely) see maybe some avengers fiction coming your way. 
> 
> Thanks for the read.
> 
> -TheNewCorleone


	3. YWE Official roster.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An excerpt from a long lost document, revealing the true standings of some of your favourite superstars.

*** _The following is an excerpt from YogscastWrestlingEntertainment.com, home for all of your prime-time YWE needs. It is dated for a few days before Yogomania. The list is arranged overall by power ranking, then each entry is written name-stable-championship_ ***

1.Lewis "Xephos" Brindley - Goone Squad - Mistral City Championship.  
2\. Paul "Sjin" Sykes - n/a - Heavyweight Championship.  
3\. Rythian (real name unknown) - The Blackrock Chronicle - World Championship.  
4\. Simon "Honeydew" Lane - Goone Squad - n/a  
5\. Duncan "Livid" Jones - Goone Squad - n/a  
6\. Sam Strippin & Ben "Benji" Fry - Rail Brothers - Tag Team championship.  
7\. Alex Smith - Hat Films - n/a  
8\. Chris "Sips" Lovasz - n/a - n/a  
9\. Ross Hornby - Hat Films - n/a  
10\. Mark "Turps" Turpin - n/a - n/a  
11.Chris "Trottimus" Trott - Hat Films - n/a

*** _The list continued on another page. However due to server errors, it was lost forever, and the exact standings of the rest of the roster was lost. It is known amongst the Minecraftia wrestling community, that this was the defining lineup for the YWE, and that almost every wrestler on this list achieved hall of fame status within the next five years. Truly, a relic of a time when wrestling was a proud sport of titans and gods, and showed that if it had not been for the YWE the world of sports-entertainment would have died horrifically. -Mistral City Wrestling Museum- Item #765-299 - Initial exhibition date: 25/06/2165_ ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been pretty busy at the minute, so I thought instead of writing a whole long peice, I'd just do a little bit for fun. Plus, on the upside this gave me a pretty good idea of who I want to fight next.
> 
> Thanks for the read.
> 
> \- TheNewCorleone


	4. Main Event

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the clash of the Titans. A classic Yogomania moment.

\--------

Once again the crowd's cheers began to build as the main event neared it's beginning. Behind the entrance ramp and the curtains was the current Heavyweight champion, Sjin. Every wrestler had their own way of warming up, and the brown haired man was no different. He first took a quick glance in the mirror, checking his blue and orange tights were in place. No sooner than he had done that he sprung to his left and began pacing frantically back and forth. Periodically he would throw a few sharp jabs and uppercuts into the air and sporadically jump into the air, bringing his knees entirely up to his chest as he did so. Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the arena, behind the second entrance ramp and its curtain stood his challenger. Instead of the frantic motions that were taking place across the arena, this backstage area was surprisingly calm and still as Rythian, the YWE World champion slowly affixed his title belt around his waist and tied his purple bandana around his face. 

Both men paused for a moment as the lights went down and the background music ceased to play in the venue. The screens at either end of the oval shaped stadium began to play the introduction promo for the match, and as it detailed every point of the year long rivalry, both men took their places behind their respective curtains. As the gargantuan screens finally fell silent the crowd followed suit with just a few excited patrons already cheering into the blackness. The tension in the darkness was tangible and the crowd has itching for the fight. Slowly the blue and orange lights faded in and Sjin's entrance theme blasted through the PA. The crowd roared with anticipation and just as the music reached its climax everything went dark and silent once again. Then everything seemed to burst into flames and fireworks as Sjin sprinted down the entrance ramp, his entrance theme shaking the arena more than ever. Scrambling into the ring, the bearded man stood tall in the centre and held his gilded belt high in the air; met with a cacophony of pleased boos and hisses. He may have been a bad guy, but he was a bad guy that the fans loved to hate.

Sjin's moment in the spotlight was not to last forever though, because it was his challenger's turn to meet their opponent, and the audience. The entire arena again plunged into darkness. Slowly, thick fog crawled onto the floor of the arena and the lights began to glow a distant purple. The rasping tones of the wrestler's theme began to creep into the air, mingling with the excitement of the crowd as they roared at the sight that had formed before their very eyes. Out of the gloom stepped a tall, muscular man, all wrapped in purple with a glittering golden belt slung proudly over his shoulder. Unlike his opponent, he allowed himself plenty of time to make his way to the ring. Sjin soon calmed down as he saw his opponent enter the battlefield; all of his bluster and confidence washed away to become a nervous energy, all of which focused on not having his head planted firmly into the mat by his adversary.

The announcer's voice boomed over the crowd noise, "This is a title-for-title, winner takes all match. This competition is set for one fall, standard rules apply." Within seconds of the announcer's spiel ending, the cold clang of the bell was heard and the match was underway. The two men skirted around the edge of the ring for a moment or two before locking arms at shoulder height, trying to see who could get the upper hand early on in the match. The two men continually adjusted stances, each one trying to find a weakness in the other's footing. For a split second, Sjin thought he had found a perfect opening, and forced forward with his full weight. Within seconds, the light footed champion reacted and positioned himself quickly behind the bearded contender, German suplexing him into the centre of the ring with a force that would have broken any normal man clean in half.

The noise of the impact was deafening in Sjin's ears. He lay there for a second, his face flushed with frustration at falling for such a schoolboy trick. He grimaced and pulled himself up to face his opponent once more. The grimace turned into a glare when he met the purple eyes of Rythian; and though he wore a bandana over most of his face Sjin could feel the smug grin that it hid. Sjin twisted his neck and loosened up his shoulders and braced for their second clash. This time, Rhythian was the first to move, his confidence high from his initial success. All his attack had managed to do however, was allow himself to relax a little, while Sjin kept his form to prevent it happening again.

Instead of allowing another grappling attack, Sjin's focus was entirely on the offence. Within seconds of coming within arms reach of the purple-clad champion, he was slashing down at his opponent's face with tightly curled fists; driving him backwards into a corner. With his opponent backed into a corner, Sjin applied a tight forearm choke and watched as the foreigner's face contorted with pain under the bandana. Before he knew it, the ref was pulling at his shoulders, and he quickly loosened his grip, grinning as Rythian tried to regain some composure. "Having fun yet?" the bearded man quipped at the gasping foreigner, who remained silent.

The match continued on like this for several minutes, one man briefly gaining the upper hand, only to have the momentum sway against them as soon as they had gained their footing. Rythian dripped with sweat, his eyes still fixed on the wrestler staggering opposite him. A trickle of blood ran down his face, and was seeping into his bandana. Both men knew this couldn't go on for much longer. Sjin staggered back and forth where he stood, and Rythian found himself using his free hand and the ropes to steady himself. Using the last of his strength, he lifted the Heavyweight champion onto his shoulders in preparation for his finisher, the Eye of Ender. The crowd roared with anticipation as Sjin barely struggled to escape the hold. With one abrupt, pained movement, Rythian flipped His adversary off his shoulders; slamming him into the mat. Blood began to flow freely from his forehead as he pinned Sjin's shoulders to the mat, covering his face with a red mask.

The world around him span, he could see stars, but some primal, unconscious part of Sjin's brain new what it must do as he felt the pressure of Rythian going for the cover. For the first time in the history of the YWE, Sjin, wrenching every muscle of his body, kicked out of the champion's finishing move. There was nothing but stunned silence from the crowd. Rythian sat back on his legs in disbelief, turning to the ref to confirm that the sight before him was true. He dragged himself up from his feet, staggered over to the turnbuckle and rested his elbows on it, allowing his head to rest in his hands. The crowd began to chant "One more time, one more time, one more time" building louder and louder. Rythian tried to catch his breath trying to steel himself for another attempt at his finisher. Stretching out his arms, the purple clad champion turned to face the centre of the ring.

His eyes met the sole of a punished-looking Sjin as he superkicked his opponent in the head, in a move known in the YWE as the Sjinspiration. Stars flashed before his eyes, but he stayed standing. His eyes managed to focus just in time to see the second Sjinspiration arriving. This time, he fell. Barely hanging on to consciousness, Rythian felt the weight of his Sjin's arm across his chest, but he couldn't move a muscle, his body had been totally defused by the vicious onslaught. The count was slow, the referee and the crowd expecting another miracle. But, when the third count sounded through the arena, the call was clear. Sjin was the first double champion in the history of the YWE.

He dragged himself off the dazed foreigner and crawled to the edge of the ring, sitting with his back against the ropes. The crowd was deafening; a cacophony of cheers and boos. The ref handed Sjin both his title belts, and he admired the sparkling plates under the hot lights. He motioned for a microphone, which promptly arrived. "He never..." he paused, spitting a large wad of blood into the mat. "Never stood a chance..." And as the bruises began to form, and Sjin truly felt the extent of his wounds, but managed to crack an evil smile before he too, began to drift into concussion induced unconsciousness.

\-------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that happened. Poor Rythian, he deserved those titles. Anyway, the story doesn't end there, up next, some hardcore wrestling. I'm talking barbed wire wrapped chairs, fluorescent tubes and fire.
> 
> Thanks for the read.
> 
> -TheNewCorleone


End file.
